Damn bloodsuckers...
Today was productive. Dom and I went to the college I'm applying to, filled out the application, paid theapplication fee, and went to the doctor to get my immunizations. I thought I was gonna get a needle in my ass to protect me from the measles or something. Nope, I needed a blood test to see if I've already had all my immunizations. Now, if you know me, you knowI hate doctors. I hate them. Not personally, of course, because my doctor is awesome and I love her. She's cute and funny. Anyway, what I hate most about doctors is how fucking needle happy they are. "You have a headache? Here, have a needle!" "Gunshot wound? No problem, I'll stick a needle in it!" I hate needles. Which is funny, because I had no problem getting my tattoo. (Butterfly on my left shoulder.) I suppose I just hate getting needles at the doctors office. Because there are three types of people who give needles.
Type A: The kind of nurse who has seen too many people cry about needles and just doesn't have the energy to pretend to be sympathetic anymore. These are the most common. Penny on the common.
Type B: The kind of nurse who really does feel bad about causing you pain and often offers water, candy, or just a few womforting words when she/he sees how upset you are. I was lucky and had one of these today. They are very rare. Finding $1,000 on the ground rare.
Type C: The kind of nurse who acts as though you slept with her boyfriend. They show no sympathy, and are usually very rude or rough. These are somewhere between dandelions and the $1,000. Kind of like dollars. Only much less pleasant.
Anyway, the only thing worse than getting a needle, is when the doctor tells you they need to draw blood. I'm twenty freaking years old and I still cry, shake, and occasionally throw up when faced with a blood test. Broken arm? No problem! Fractured knee-cap? Whatever! I need a bloodtest and I'm curled up in a corner trying to find my happy place. So I dragged Dom into the lab with me to get my blood drawn. I basically tried to kill him, but he was very supportive anyway. I got a Garfield band-aid for my troubles though. So after a stop at the grocery store, Dom and I got back. I peeled off my band-aid to see the ugly ass bruise I always get. I showed it to Dom expecting sympathy. Instead, he said and I quote: "Crazy ass white people, changing colors." My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen. *rolls eyes*
Type A: The kind of nurse who has seen too many people cry about needles and just doesn't have the energy to pretend to be sympathetic anymore. These are the most common. Penny on the common.
Type B: The kind of nurse who really does feel bad about causing you pain and often offers water, candy, or just a few womforting words when she/he sees how upset you are. I was lucky and had one of these today. They are very rare. Finding $1,000 on the ground rare.
Type C: The kind of nurse who acts as though you slept with her boyfriend. They show no sympathy, and are usually very rude or rough. These are somewhere between dandelions and the $1,000. Kind of like dollars. Only much less pleasant.
Anyway, the only thing worse than getting a needle, is when the doctor tells you they need to draw blood. I'm twenty freaking years old and I still cry, shake, and occasionally throw up when faced with a blood test. Broken arm? No problem! Fractured knee-cap? Whatever! I need a bloodtest and I'm curled up in a corner trying to find my happy place. So I dragged Dom into the lab with me to get my blood drawn. I basically tried to kill him, but he was very supportive anyway. I got a Garfield band-aid for my troubles though. So after a stop at the grocery store, Dom and I got back. I peeled off my band-aid to see the ugly ass bruise I always get. I showed it to Dom expecting sympathy. Instead, he said and I quote: "Crazy ass white people, changing colors." My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen. *rolls eyes*
posted by Sirs_Girl at 6:33 PM
1 Comments:
When the vet took a stool sample from my cat, Cowboy George he screamed and fought like I've never seen before. I didn't even know his mouth would OPEN that wide. Why am I suddenly struck with the image of him, when you describe your blood test? ;)
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