Random Hospital Memory

Due to current events, I've been thinking a lot about my rape and the subsequent months spent in the hospital. I was actualy able to laugh about something that happened during my hospital stay. I was bruised really badly. Not the fake light purple smudge of mascara they put under actors eyes, I mean, bruised. My eye was dark purple and swollen shut, my jaw was wired shut, I had brusing on my throat, a split lip, part of my head was shaved to put the plate in, my left arm was in a cast up to my shoulder and sticking straight out in front of me, I had this inner tube thing around my waist cuz my pelvic bone was smashed, my legs were open and out because of the stitches in my genital region. I was fucked up. Anyway, the doctors asked me a bunch of questions to check for memory loss - past the week I spent unconcious - and asked me to wheel around the hallway so they could make sure there was no brain damage and I was alright with spatial relations or something like that. I was 13 so after I got out of the ICU, I was sent to the pediatric unit, which was where the doctors asked me to wheel around. (I couldn't walk because of the pelvic bone and stitches.) So I said okay. They had given me an electric wheelchair because i only had one functioning arm. I had no idea how to control it. So I was all set up at one end of the hallway and I went shooting down towards the other end, where this little girl was. She couldn't have been more than five. She looked at me with a look of panic and screamed at the top of her lungs right before taking off crying. I was heartbroken back then, I felt like a monster. But now I can see why she ran. All she saw was this huge purple half human half machine thing wearing an inner tube come flying at her, one arm outstretched like a fucking mummy. No wonder the poor girl ran. She probably thought I was trying to eat her. Now I find it pretty damn funny. I know, I know, she's probably scarred for life with a phobia of wheelchairs, but I need to find humor somewhere right? So, little girl, whoever you are, I'm sorry I scared you. I promise I wasn't going to eat you. I only eat little boys who scream nonstop in the grocery store.

On another note, I'msstudying to retake the SATs so I can go back to school and study nursing. There's a two year program at a college around me so I'm gonna apply next year. I scored in the 1500s when I last took the SATs, but I want to get back into the swing of school and I want to see if I can do better on them. So hopefully, I can get into school next year, graduate when I'm 23, and have a decent career in the medical field like I've always dreamed of by the time I'm 24. I'll keep ya posted. And Ivy, once again, thanks for the well wishes. It sounds corny, but knowing you even took the time to read my pathetic ramblings, let alone comment on them, really makes my day. It helps more than you know. So thanks again. And I'm completely with you on the Citibank commercial. When I see him hitting the pan with the broom, I want to reach through the television and just beat him with the phone. But the Big Boy password is pretty damn funny. :)